my brother stepped outside
with the dog
wearing these baggy oversized pants
cuffed at the ankle
I said, “calm down, Aladdin”.
I ask him to walk with me to get a coffee,
he says it’s too cold.
he says his wife bought some
coffee beans
and he’s going to grind them down
and brew his own cup.
I said,
“oh yeah?
Where’d they source the beans?
Agrabah?”

nobody laughed.

-

I walked down Newbury Street
on the way to Abe & Louis’s.
I walked past CAVA restaurant
it’s just another fast casual place
to everybody else.
I walked past sweetgreen.
there was a sign out front,
”it’s all about the Ranch”.
it always was.
we order the cookie skillet after dinner,
I overate
to comfort myself
I haven’t felt this tired
in a long, long time

-

we broke up
I had an amazing interview
that morning
half a million dollars a year
maybe things will turn out alright
I park illegally
I don’t get a fine
I do get a text
I had coffee with a friend
we both bought scratch-tickets
I won five hundred,
I scratched it in the car,
pretty good.
they, however,
won $4 million

-

I don’t know what it was
in that moment
but it didn’t matter
if they had won, or I had won
nothing would have changed
I’d still have to live and
labor through every moment
of everyday
with that feeling
like I overate.
I’d have a few bucks,
but I already lost

-

so why would would it matter
without you