awake
in the vortex
you take tea
i take espresso
we write
in a smoke-filled room
you let me smoke in bed
only on sunday
i scribble on the back
of a paperback cover
you keep your notepad close to bed
you offer me a page
i croon, “it will be
more romantic this way,
and it’ll be the story!
if whatever i make today
comes out on this here paperback
cover…”
you cut me off with a sharp
“ok!” with a smile
we laugh a bit
we catch glances
of each other

the day stretches
it’s arms and yawns
the loons on the pond flutter about
we make our way to the café
past the church,
we frequent now,
to save face,
but not today.
another cigarette,
pastry, espresso
i still look at you
like the first time
and always will
you pay the bill
paper and coins
i paid our way forever
but i lost my mind
a few times
along the way

we walk the hills
and the long stone steps
landing at our favorite spot
in the countryside
we take in some nature
and wait for the day
to grow stale
we teleport
materialize in bed again
we nap
we still make love
like the first time
and it just happens

you wake up
thirsty
i tell you, “i too know what
it’s like to be thirsty.”
you say, “oh my god!”
we still laugh
you’re there
naked, perfect
wearing only a bedsheet
pulled to your chest

you watch me
from bed
boil the water
prepare the vegetables
cooking dinner
something you like
one of your favorites
“i’m trying something different
today. i think i perfected it, this time…”
you try it and say it’s really good
even though you liked it
better the way
i made it the first time
you’re still sweet

everything is repetitive
day in and day out
but nothing ever repeats
because i still love you
like the first time

the day grows longer now
and we moon-bathe
with natural wines
for it’s summer
vinyl records spin
revolving, repetitive
but never the same

everyone’s old
we visit mostly,
besides James
we keep our corner
of the world
safe now
it’s not glamorous
and you’re dying
and that’s enough for me to know
that the wine is enough
you don’t have to
babysit me
anymore

and i never knew myself
for a life alone
but i knew myself
to never consume
now i want you to live
forever
because even though
everything is repetitive
revolving
nothing ever repeats
because i still
love you
like the fir
st
tim
e.

-

a final cigarette before bed
before you beckon me
by name